You're loving this, aren't you?

看我倒霉你乐翻了吧
I'm mortified for you, mate!

哥们我很同情你的
The secret is, tell yourself it's 20 minutes away.

诀窍就是告诉自己还要憋二十分钟
Don't let your bowels know you're getting close.

别让身体知道你快走到了
You let your bowels know you're getting close and it's whoosh!

否则那可就一发不可收拾
- Shall we run? - That'd be a fatal error.

-咱跑两步吧 -绝对不行
Running gets everything going, don't it?

一跑起来浑身上下都得动不是吗
Yeah your heart-rate, your blood, your bladder, your bowels. No, mate.

心率加快血压升高膀胱和肠子抖个不停
I can understand people giving in to the temptation to want to run,

我很理解人们为啥想跑
but it's always a fatal error.

但那绝对是大错特错
I'm not going to make it.

我憋不住了
Oh, shit!

我靠