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Figures. Why do I attract all the creeps?
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I dated this one guy, Craig,
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for like two months, and I thought,
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like, he was the one. And I called him up one night,
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and his roommate answered the phone and told me
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that Craig had died, and I was, like, devastated.
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And me and the roommate, we scattered his ashes
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throughout central park...the whole thing.
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And I worked through the stages of grief with my life coach
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and a lot of random guys,
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and I was getting into acceptance
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when I ran into Craig at a bar.