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So I found out something interesting today
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that has to do with you.
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Aw, crap, you found out what happened in Orlando?
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Why? What happened in Orlando?
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Don't tell me you slept with Mickey Mouse.
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Well, I slept with someone With suspenders and four fingers.
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I'm assuming it was mickey.
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Either way, it was heaven.
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Well, I found out
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that you're not the badass you claim to be.
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I talked to your old high school Principal,
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and he said the only reason you didn't graduate