If the blonde asks, I'm the billionaire who invented string cheese.

万一金发的那个问起就说我是发明起司条的亿万富翁
If it's that redhead, tell her

红发那个问起就说我是
I wrote "We Are the World."

《We Are The World》的作曲者
And, uh, if it's that cheerleader hottie over there,

如果是这个小辣妹...
my penis is in the Guinness Book of World Records:

我的老二是金氏世界记录冠军
Girth, not length. I want it to sound believable. Holy shit.

是粗围不是长度一定要讲得很有说服力我的妈呀
Activate pelvis.

下半身开始启动
Yo, yo, yo, hold on to your pantyhose.

唷!唷!唷! 各位别太猴急
The hostess with the mostest has got a toastess.

婚礼女主角现在要向各位嘉宾敬酒!
I just want to thank everybody for coming to share this day with us.

感谢各位前来分享我们今天的喜悦
I couldn't imagine being any happier than I am right now.

这是我有生以来最幸福快乐的一天
Wait till tonight, sweetheart.

等到今晚洞房再说