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					and yet--there's all this conflicting stuff. 
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					Let me tell you the next thing I want to tell you about. 
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					The marriage ceremony in Sparta 
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					shows you a very odd kind of a thing. 
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					First of all, it happens--these are all ritual activities, 
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					but you ritually seize the girl you're going to marry. 
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					It's as though you're saying 
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					that the fundamental basic way you find a family 
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					is you grab a woman and she becomes yours. 
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					Then the marriage ceremony itself, 
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					the girl has her head shaved and she is dressed as a man, 
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					and sits in a darkened room awaiting her groom