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Hold on, just to be clear, since this morning,
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you ate all the muffins?
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Yeah, I ate them all in one sitting
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because I have no self-control and I hate myself.
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Is that what you want to hear?
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Neal, was it a small container of muffins,
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like two to four muffins?
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No, Tom, there were a good deal more than that.
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Can you remember exactly how many muffins were in the box?
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Yeah, there were exactly 12!
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I ate 12 muffins, and I didn't even want one!
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There's your goddamn news story,