against a dangerous world and that's about it.

抵御危险的世界就这些了
Problem is now I have to be homophobic.

问题是我现在必须恐同
I have to count the number of times people go to church.

必须历数他人去教堂的次数
I have to deny facts and think scientific research is a long con.

必须否认事实必须认为科学研究是骗局
I have to think poor people are getting a sweet ride.

必须认为穷人在白拿好处
And I have to have such a stunning inferiority complex

我必须心怀无比的劣等感
that I fear education and intellect

恐惧教育与智力
in the 21st century.

这是21世纪啊
But most of all, the biggest new requirement,

但主要的是一条最大的新要求
really the only requirement,

其实也是唯一的要求
is that I have to hate Democrats.

那就是我必须恨民主党人
And I have to hate Chris Christie

还必须痛恨克里斯·克里斯蒂