In the very end, one of the ludicrous aspects of this whole damn thing

最终这堆破事儿荒谬的一方面就是
is that just as they're about to go to war,

正当他们准备开战时
and just as Czar Nicholas II,

沙皇尼古拉斯二世
about whom we'll come back and discuss one day,

我们以后会自己讲这个人
he signs the mobilization order.

也正在签署动员令
And mobilization, for reasons I'll come back to,

而战争动员基本就等同于宣战了
is tantamount to an act of war.

个中缘由我一会儿来讲
He's dashing off letters to his dearest cousin Willie.

他正给他最亲的表兄威利写信
And Willie is writing back to "My Dear Cousin nicky."

而威利也正给他"最亲爱的尼哥"回信
These people are related.

这些人是亲戚
They're cousins.

他们是表兄弟
But international circumstances,

而国际环境