Hey. Do you want me to teach you how to use that bad boy?

你要我教你怎么用这玩意吗
Please. I've mostly been using it like a magazine--

拜托我目前基本把它当杂志来用
You know, hitting flies with it,

你知道的拍苍蝇啊
using it to scratch my engine room.

给我的机舱挠挠痒啊什么的
You should start a blog

你该去开个博客
and share your cracker lingo with the world.

分享一下你那些搞笑的术语
What the fudge is a blog?

博客是个什么玩意
A blog is like a diary,

博客跟日记差不多
but you want everyone to read it.

不过你希望大家都来看
Like, if you get bad service at a restaurant, you blog it,

比如说你在餐厅遇到招待不周就可以写上博客
and then you get a free meal at that restaurant,

然后餐厅会让你免费吃一顿
But then you wonder,

不过接着你又会好奇