I can't shop. I can't spa.

不让我逛街跟泡温泉
I... I might as well eat fast food out of a trash can.

还不如让我从垃圾桶里拣快餐吃
If I have to endure this game for one more minute,

如果我再忍受这个游戏一分钟
I swear to God,

对天发誓
I will bake a cake six stories high and jump off the top of it.

我会从自己烤的六层楼高的蛋糕上跳下来
This is the most pathetic pity party ever.

这是最悲哀的聚会了
Seriously, somebody cue the sad music,

说真的赶紧关了这哀乐
break out the Chardonnay,

打开几瓶霞多丽
and can we all just turn 30, why don't we?

我们就可以变30岁中年妇女了
My God!

天啊
Really?!

要这样对我么
Now, like, we've been together for so long,

我们一起合作很久了