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Jordan, adults are talking. Is that okay?
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When she put you in that ridiculous sweater,
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I kept my mouth shut.
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No, you didn't.
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And when you started describing your favorite movie
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using these feminist theories, I turned the other cheek.
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You texted me a picture of your ass
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and asked if that passed the Bechdel test.
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But when she gets you drinking tea,
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I cannot and I will not remain silent for a second longer.
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All right, everybody! Shut up!
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And gather around.