Oh, my god.

上帝啊
What's wrong?

怎么了
Well, you have to understand. I had this whole frozen smile ready.

你要知道我已经准备好强颜欢笑了
I was expecting a bachelor pad--

我预期的是一所单身公寓
You know, pizza boxes, dirty underwear,

到处是比萨盒子脏兮兮的内衣
Neon beer clock. But look at this place.

霓虹灯啤酒时钟但看看这地方
It's tastefully decorated

装饰雅致
and smells...

气味
Oh, my. Is that potpourri?

那是香料吗
I just switched to the... autumn blend.

我只是调到了秋季的花香
Take me... right now... on the table.

现在就把我抱上桌子
Should I use a place mat?

我要垫个餐具垫吗