It was a source of both terror and comfort to me then that I often

对我而言这本来是恐惧和慰藉的来源
seemed invisible-- incompletely or minimally existent,

那时我就像透明人实际上
in fact.

或者存在感极其薄弱
It seemed to me that I made no impact on the world,

好像我对这个世界无足轻重
and that in exchange I was privileged to watch it unawares.

作为交换我有从暗处观察这个世界的特权
But my allusion to this feeling of ghostliness sounded peculiar,

但我对这种幽灵般存在的幻象也颇为独特
and sweat started all over my body, convicting me on the spot of gross

汗水渗出全身
corporeality. "Well, maybe that will

让我对身上下流器官充满罪恶感
change," Sylvie said.

也许会有变化希尔维说道
We walked a while without speaking. "Maybe it won't."

我们走着一言不发也许不会有
I dropped a step behind and watched her face.

我停下被她落了几步看着她的脸
She always spoke to me in the voice of an adult dispensing wisdom.

她总是以成年人带着几分睿智的语气跟我说话