what the experience of that sort of knowledge was like,

那是种什么样的经历
and if not, whether she too felt ghostly as I imagined

如果不知道那她是否像我想的一样也如同幽灵一般
she must.

她必须
This is an instance where what Ruth experiences might be said to be

这是一处露丝经历过的事可以被当做
total identity, a very stable identity.

彻底的特征非常稳固的特征
She cannot alienate herself from herself to know what

她无法分离自己
she is thinking.

来弄明白自己在想什么
So, if you think about that construction, "I don't know what I

如果从句子结构来看我不知道我在想什么
think," it posits an "I" who could know the self.

这里假设了一个"我" 能找到自己
That's two entities, not one.

这是两个身份不是一个
So, if you don't know what you think, maybe it's because there isn't that

所以如果你不知道你在想啥也许是因为
objective distance between an "I" and a self.

在"我"和自己之间的距离不够客观