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as a horrible apparition began to haunt.
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She started to spend her nights
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Making pompoms and eating two-minute noodles.
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Each day, with strength and shame,
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Mary trudged to the letterbox in hope,
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Only to swivel, shrivel and slink back inside.
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My dearest Mary, by the time you read this,
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I will be on a plane to New Zealand
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To begin a new life.
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You probably haven 't even noticed I'd packed my bags.
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I have fallen in love with my penfriend, Desmond,
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And I'm going to live on his sheep farm.