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dismantling your bitch pack
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and claiming your scattered, newly orphaned bitches as my own.
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Oh, no! Don't kill her, please. Please.
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But I'm a mom now,
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and now my baby is old enough to go outside --
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He's gotten his cradle cap and baby acne under control.
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And I'm in the market for a new mom friend.
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You wanna join our cool yoga group?
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No. I'm looking for someone who's actually cool.
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You know, fun, considerate,
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and self-confident enough that they don't need to parade around
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like some pompous, snooty-ass bitch