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Don't you want to call me a phony jerk first?
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I'm sorry that I called you names.
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But I'm not really buying the "eccentric rich kid" act.
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If you really hate those charity functions
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then why were you there pretending to be the bartender?
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I was just stopping by for some free champagne.
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Oh. Because you're so strapped for booze at home?
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I think you secretly really care about stuff,
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and you want your life to be about more than just
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writing checks and drinking rubbery tasting wine.
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And I bet you know just the thing to give my life meaning.
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Yes. A nonprofit business.