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You come into my room and you find me hysterically crying
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because my boyfriend...
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Oliver just broke up with me.
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And you know, I'm under my bed sobbing
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and I'm eating double-stuffed cookies.
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I'm scribbling in my diary with my sparkly pen
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"I love Oliver" over and over again.
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What do you do?
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Okay, that seems like a lot of unnecessary detail.
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He was gorgeous and I loved him.
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And, if I recall, I beat the crap out of him.
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Bam, I rest my case.