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Lockdown! Lockdown!
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We have full lockdown!
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Listen up, cons. Christian Beaumont--
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he used a lightbulb filled with flour
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and match heads doused in alcohol
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to bolt the county courthouse where he was facing charges
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for mailing threatening letters
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to the county land assessor.
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Sent them right from his prison cell.
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Everyone thought he was stupid.
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But his plan all along was to find
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a less secure location, so he could make his move.