God.

天啊
Sir, we are in the midst of an aerial attack by an unidentified force!

长官我们正遭到不明武力空袭
Activate the QRF.

派出快速反应部队
Mama! No!

啊娘喂不
We were high-school sweethearts. The perfect couple.

我们是高中情侣人人称羡
Do you know that he proposed in a waterfall?

你知道他在瀑布下求婚吗
-I mean, a freaking waterfall. -Smooth.

-真的瀑布耶 -不赖
But now, according to a text I got 20 minutes ago,

现在根据我20分钟前收到的简讯
he's marrying a 19-year-old named after a spice.

他要娶一个用香料当名字的19岁女人
It's not even spelled correctly.

而且还用错别字
It's just not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life.

没想过我会沦落至此
God. I hear that.

天啊我了