your low calorie popcorn and assorted confections,

好好享用你的低热量爆米花和什锦糖果
while we tell you the strange and bewildering tale of a hero,

听我们来讲述这位英雄奇异而纠结的故事
who has yet to enter his own story.

而这位英雄至今还没进入角色
Crunchy-creamy-cookie-candy-cupcake.

MiMiMi MaMaMa[这家伙在开嗓子]
Okay, everybody! Let's take it from the top.

好了伙计们重头再来吧
The stage is set. The night moist with that apprehension.

舞台就绪恐惧在这潮湿的夜晚悄然袭来
Alone in her chamber, the princess prepares to take her own life.

公主独守空房准备结束自己的生命
It is far better to nourish worms than to live without love!

没了爱情滋润的生活就是坨屎
She reaches for the poison chalice.

她伸手去取那杯毒酒
Meanwhile, the wicked Malvolio plots his ascension to the throne.

此时邪恶的马伏里奥正阴谋篡位
While her aging father lies gravely ill.

而她年迈的父王已是奄奄一息
Yes, I'm gravely ill...

是啊我奄奄一息