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That's a good story. It's well-told, ever-evolving.
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Yeah, but, alas, untrue.
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But the skeletons that we saw at the front...
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I bought those from a Gypsy in Bukhara.
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I crafted our lurid reputation
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in order to fend off the most insidious evil
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that's been lurking this forsaken country of ours.
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You know what I'm talking about?
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Taxes.
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And all these Persians
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with their armies, their fortresses, their roads.
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Who pays for it all? The small businessman!