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Keep it spotless and glorify it.
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Take extra special care of every little-bitty bit of it
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as if I were watching over you like a hawk
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with a horse whip in its talons, because I am.
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Should I discover a lapse of any variety during my absence,
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I promise, swift and merciless justice will descend upon you.
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A great and noble house has been placed under your protection.
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Tell Zero if you see any funny business.
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"Your devoted Monsieur Gustave."
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Then there's a poem, but we might want to start on the soup
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since it's 46 stanzas.
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"A moist, black ash dampens the filth of a dung-dark rat's nest