Oh, well, I am Justice Strauss of the High Court.

好我是高等法院的施特劳斯法官
Forgive my not shaking hands, but as you can see,

原谅我不跟你们握手但是你们看到了
I am a mountain of parcels.

我抱着一堆东西呢
I just bought a new toolkit because my food processor broke.

我刚买了新工具箱我的食物处理器坏了
Although I don't know who I think I'm kidding,

不过真不知我想骗谁呢
because I have no inventive or mechanical skill whatsoever.

我完全没有发明或机械方面的知识技能
Then I treated myself to new file cards for my private library,

我还给我的私人图书馆买了新档案卡来奖励自己
and frankly I don't have an acute literary sense.

老实说我的文字感不强
And then, to top it all off, I forgot to buy a new bread knife.

雪上加霜的是我忘记买新面包刀了
It means I have no possible way of cutting up this baguette

所以我根本没法把这根法国面包棍切成
into bite-sized pieces,

可食大小的段
which is really unfortunate

这太不幸了