Although I don't know who I think I'm kidding,

不过真不知我想骗谁呢
because I have no inventive or mechanical skill whatsoever.

我完全没有发明或机械方面的知识技能
Then I treated myself to new file cards for my private library,

我还给我的私人图书馆买了新档案卡来奖励自己
and frankly I don't have an acute literary sense.

老实说我的文字感不强
And then, to top it all off, I forgot to buy a new bread knife.

雪上加霜的是我忘记买新面包刀了
It means I have no possible way of cutting up this baguette

所以我根本没法把这根法国面包棍切成
into bite-sized pieces,

可食大小的段
which is really unfortunate

这太不幸了
because I was gonna take the bread that was cut up

因为我本打算拿切好的面包
with a white bean hummus--

配白鹰嘴豆泥
We'd be more than happy to be of assistance, Justice Strauss.

我们非常乐意帮忙施特劳斯法官
My sister is very mechanically minded,

我姐姐很有机械头脑