Nobody could possibly understand.

没人会理解的
It's un-understandable.

无法理解
I was sitting on my boat...

我当时坐在我的船上...
The way sailors do.

就像水手们那样
- enjoying some pasta puttanesca... - Which is also totally normal.

-享用着番茄橄榄意大利面 -这样完全寻常
- when I spilled some on my leg. - And a very handsome leg it was.

-突然我撒了点面在腿上 -那是条多美的腿啊
Before I knew it, the leeches were attacking me.

顷刻之间水蛭就开始袭击我
- Terrible! - Ghastly!

-可怕 -吓人
I fought them off as best I could.

我拼尽全力打退了它们
- But my right leg was not strong enough. - Left.

-但我的右腿不够强壮 -是左
My right leg was not strong enough to rescue my left leg.

我的右腿不够强壮没法救下我的左腿
- That's terrible. - Yes, it is terrible.

-太糟糕了 -是啊是很糟