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Is this really not your thing?
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It's nobody's thing.
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You just do it 'cause you're supposed to,
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like bleaching your teeth or your anus.
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Thank God I'm off the list,
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'cause that bridesmaid spa day is gonna be rough.
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Look, I'm sorry, it's just, I was a maid of honor
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in fifth grade when my mom married her cult leader.
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And then she was my maid of honor
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when I married him a week later.
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So I'm kind of maid-of-honored out.
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Maybe I'll get one of my old sorority sisters