according to one's own thoughts rather than in some broader, more social form.

比起宽泛的社会化的形式更在于个体的思想
But abruptly, fiendishly,

但是突然像是故意的
the tender pattern of nudity I had adored

这个我喜爱的温柔而有规律的香艳演出
would be transformed into the disgusting lamp-lit bare arm of a man in his underclothes

变成了一个恶心的光溜溜的男人的肩膀
reading his paper by the open window in the hot, damp, hopeless summer night.

他坐在窗边读报纸在这个闷热而潮湿的绝望的夏夜里
So, the object of this wonderful aesthetic reverie,

这个想象中美好的少女的原型
the nymphet, turns out to be an adult male.

其实是个成年男人
And I just want you to ask yourself why that could be.

你们想一想为何会这样
But, Nabokov's relationship to this modernist past

但是纳博科夫与过去的现代派的关系
is not just the burlesque that he visits on Eliot,

不仅在于他对艾略特的嘲仿
is not just this complicated attraction and dis-identification

也不仅是他对普鲁斯特复杂的喜爱
that he works on with Proust.

和不认同感