I don't even remember why I let you stay with me in the first place.

我都记不得当初为什么收留你
Because my parents kicked me out,

因为我爸妈把我赶出来了
and I had nowhere to go,

我没地方能去
and even though you don't want anyone to know it...

即使你不想别人发现
you secretly have a good heart.

你心地还是很善良的
You told me they didn't approve of your "alternative lifestyle."

你跟我说他们不赞同你"另类的生活方式"
I thought you were, like, a troubled gay teen or something.

我还以为你是年幼的小基佬什么的
I didn't realize by "alternative lifestyle"

没想到"另类的生活方式"
that you meant you were lazy.

是指你懒得要死
That's on you for making assumptions.

谁叫你自己乱猜
Also, if you're looking for the Toaster Strudels,

而且如果你是在找速冻点心
I got really high last night and ate them all.

我昨晚嗑嗨以后都吃光了