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In fact, I wouldn't even know if I was being stood up,
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because that's how little I know about being stood up.
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Am I being stood up?
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No, you are not. Guys are always late.
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I once waited three days for a guy.
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But he showed up with the ransom money,
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and you don't see me living in a fridge anymore.
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Okay, fine.
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Nobody got stood up.
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So I'll just sit here and text while we wait...
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You know, forever.
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And then, finally, when it dawns on you,