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Not only safe, but highly effective.
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In my hands, the transorbital lobotomy
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has become as routine as...
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filling a cavity.
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Holy apostle, saint jude, faithful servant
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And friend of jesus, the patron of hopeless cases
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and things almost despaired of,
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Pray for me, who am so miserable.
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Make use, I implore thee, of the particular privilege
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that is accorded to thee, to bring visible and speedy help
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where help was almost despaired of.
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Um, bad news. We searched everywhere.