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It is a fact, I believe, that brides tend to favour
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exceptionally plain bridesmaids for their big day.
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There is a certain analogy there, I feel.
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And contrast is, after all,
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God's own plan to enhance the beauty of his creation.
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Or it would be if God were not a ludicrous fantasy
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designed to provide a career opportunity for the family idiot.
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The point I'm trying to make is that I am
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the most unpleasant, rude,
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ignorant and all-round obnoxious arsehole
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that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet.
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I am dismissive of the virtuous,