Hey. Does he wipe for you, too?

他也给你擦屁股吗
Now by my rough estimate, you have not had sex in 1,839 days.

经我粗略估计你有1839天没有过性生活了
As your wingman, I highly recommend

作为你的战友我强力推荐
Carmen Golden.

卡门·高登
Which one is she?

是哪一个
The one who looks like the chick from "Twilight."

貌似《暮光之城》女主的的那妞儿
What's "Twilight"?

《暮光之城》是什么
You're so better off not knowing.

不知道更好
Back in a minute.

一会儿就回来
Ollie, hey! This party is sick.

奥利嗨这派对真烂
Who let you in here?

谁让你进来的
I believe it was somebody who said,

应该是某个对我说