I know what that's like.

我知道那种感觉

You want to see my candy apple?

你想瞧瞧我的"糖苹果"吗

This is so not like me.

这太不像我了

What are we gonna do?

我们该怎么办

I envy you for that-- really.

我很羡慕你 真的

in the wrong place, with the wrong girl.

错误的地点 和一个错误的女孩

but I just thought it was this urban fashion legend.

但我以为那只是某个都市时尚传说

That's how I feel about the dress.

我对那条裙子也一样

I don't want to see anyone from my old life.

我不想见我以前生活中的人

Sounds like the great American novel

听起来很美国小说嘛

You have only slept with four people?

你只跟4个人上过床吗

And I guess I had a few long-term relationships.

然后我有过几段时间比较长的恋爱关系