It so happens that the phoenix...

碰巧这根魔杖

Just one other.

是同一只凤凰身上的羽毛

that is a man, that is a man of the 21st century,

这就是二十一世纪的男人

a man, a proper fucking man

而是如假包换的男人

Talk about phoning it in.

做戏做全套

or throw up or something?

甚至是呕吐一下之类吗

Or maybe before getting shot,

也有可能是没中枪之前

See, that's why you'll never be a best-selling novelist.

看吧 所以你们当不了畅销小说家

My mom used to use

我妈以前经常用

I thought you said your house was a van?

我记得你说过你家住在货车里

but very appropriate for this very modest individual.

但是很适合这个谦逊的人

with regard to her own personal creations,

关于她自身的创造