I know the perfect photographer,

我认识一位顶尖的摄影师

I'm on this new birth control pill,

我在服用一种新型避孕药

No need to freak out?

没必要抓狂?

And suddenly you're standing there over by the ho hos.

突然间你就出现在那蛋糕旁边

big ass SUV, basically two big man caves on wheels.

大体量越野车 基本就是两个轮子的移动狗窝

And, ready for this?

还有这个

This one's not crossed out.

这本没被涂黑

We have to get out of here.

我们得逃出去

Come on, ladies.

进来吧 女士们

What's going on?

怎么回事

Oh, God. I know. I mean, even being a vegetarian is a challenge.

我知道 要当个素食者也是个挑战

You go hiking? I mean, no offense...

你喜欢远足运动? 我无意冒犯...